Two weeks post chemo

It’s been two weeks since my last (!) chemo treatment, and it’s been a long, hard road. Last week was absolutely the worst week I’ve ever had, hands down. Every day I feel more clear headed, which is such a nice change from the fog that had been normal for so long.


I notice the change the most at work. It’s nice to go to the office and feel like I can make a contribution to the department. I am getting back the ability to concentrate on projects, participate in a meaningful way in conversations and meetings, and give my team thoughtful and useful feed back to their questions and concerns.

Operating as I did on less that full strength for such a long time was mentally challenging and emotionally draining. You begin to question your value and whether the ordeal you are going through by way of treatment is worth everything you perceive you will lose while you sit on the sidelines, unable to pull your weight.

And that’s just what I was feeling about my job. The same feelings of drifting aimlessly, failing to contribute, and sitting by and watching life go one without me was happening at home. I turned down countless offers to go someplace, do something, most of those from PJ. She always took my decline with grace and kindness, never hinted at disappointment.

I just can’t imagine how much more overwhelming all of this might have been without all the love and support I got from Dave, PJ, family and friends, and my coworkers.

How do people who live alone get through this? How do parents with kids that need and demand their attention get through this? How do children or the frail elderly get through this?

My chief complaint now is being physically tired and that I’m sleeping poorly at night. The tired feeling will get better when my sleeping pattern improves. An occasional hit of Tylenol PM isn’t a bad choice (doc approves). Tonight might just be one of those nights.

So, it’s all getting better. Thanks for hanging in.