That's the word from my doc. All tests were normal, there is nothing of note or concern. No need for surgery or other follow up. He'll see me in six months for another mammogram, and if all is well then, I can go on the "I'll see you in 12-months" plan.
"Normal" never sounded so good!
So, no more breast cancer talk for a long time.
{end of post}
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Normal!
2,600
Who ever popped on under Comcast a few moments ago was the 2,600th reader since Dave put the counter on my blog last year. That's pretty cool.
I'm off to see the surgeon this morning, so we can talk about whatever the hell pathological scarring is, why it's in my left breast, and whether it needs to come out. From what I've read and heard from people in the business who should know about these things, surgery is a good bet. We'll see.
I'd rather be without it if it will cause problems down the road.
Got spare prayers? I'm continuing to hold Jan's nephew Matthew in mine and hope you can add him to your list. Thank you. She sys it means so much.
{end of post}
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wonderful Sunday
It's been a pretty terrific day.
Started off with coffee with my mother here at Chez Leland Road (she spent the night so she could celebrate Brother Ted's 50th locally).
I served as worship leader this morning at church. Sermon summary in 25 words: There is something nice, good, or beautiful in all of my daily chores and challenges, I just have to look for it. And I will.
Saw my phone friend Eunice. She's healthy, and that's what's important. We made a promise that when we're done with our various medical tests and such, we're going to go out and celebrate with a glass of wine. Or a martini.
Got a call from Cousin Peter, who was sharing a book with his wife Laura at a Hartford CT-area coffee shop. I asked the title. "What to Expect When You Are Expecting," he replied. I cried.
Drove up to Seabrook and spent a couple of hours at the beach with Aunt and Uncle Nancy and Mike Thornton and half of their children (Kathy and Dan), half of their children-in-law (Krista and Mary Litton), one S.O. (Phil) , and 7 of 9 grandchildren (Lauren, Connor, Ben, Dan, Owen, Jack, and Lizzie). it was good fun, as it always is when we are together.
Came home to find that Dave mowed the lawn. I love that smell! Now it's my job to get out there and have at the weeds.
But it's raining. Again. Thunder and lightning. Can't weed in the rain, right? I'll have a drink instead and toast all the wonderfulness that was today.
{End of post}
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Finding my voice
The phone rang. Someone asked me to do something and I said "No." She persisted, I said "No" again, and she kept at it. I said "No" a third time and politely hung up on her.
I am SO proud of myself on a number of levels. For going with my first instinct, which was to say "No." For sticking with it and not giving in. I'm prone to giving in, or rather, for saying "Yes" when I really don't want to.
So here's the story.
A woman called from the American Cancer Society and asked me to take part in the "Notes to Neighbors" campaign. The ACS provides you with names and address of 20 of your neighbors. They give you all the literature, the "please donate" letters, 20 mailing envelopes and 20 more envelopes that you address back to yourself (so the neighbors can mail you their donations).
You sign the letters, address the large envelopes, put your address on the smaller ones, put stamps on all 40 envelopes, mail the 20 packages, sit back and wait for the donations to come in, and mail those to the ACS.
Pretty simple. A small investment (40 stamps times what is it these days... 41 or 42 cents each, plus a few more to mail in the donations, and a little time).
So, why did I say "No" you ask? BECAUSE I JUST DID IT A FEW MONTHS AGO.
Back to the phone call.
She asked me to participate. I said some like "Gee, didn't I just do this?" She agreed that I did and said the ACS does this twice a year. I told her no, I didn't want to ask the neighbors again quite so soon and offered to do it in six months.
She pushed on through her script and told me that it's an important effort and that they really need my help. I said I was sorry, but I can't help at the time.
She turned to the page in her script that tells her what to say when she'd been told "No" twice."
"Mrs. Richards, the American Cancer Society depends on volunteers like yourself to..." And I cut her off.
I responded.
"I know the American Cancer Society depends on volunteers like me. You depend on cancer patients like me. Within weeks of my diagnosis you were contacting me to volunteer and make donations and you haven't stopped asking. I explained that I will not ask my neighbors again, so soon, to make another donation. We are all asked to donate to causes constantly. I cannot help you at this time. Thanks so much for calling." And I hung up the phone.
And I felt really good about the way I handled it. I didn't want to do it, for reasons that are important to me, and I said "no" and hung in there.
Now, if the way I handled the request bothers you, you have a couple of options. You can take your checkbook or your credit card and make a donation to the ACS. You can call them and become a "Notes to Neighbors" volunteer.
I try to make it a practice not to ask other people to donate to a cause. I respect your causes and support your right to support them. I can't give to every one of everyones' special causes, and for that very reason, I don't push mine on them.
Everyone has a hand out. There are endless requests for money and I don't have enough to do all the things I'd like do. When it comes to breast cancer alone, there are plenty of opportunities to help, whether it's the Susan G. Koman Foundation, Relay for Life events, three-day walks, and more pink ribbons on more products from grapefruit to cereal to soda.
There's an ad in this week's TIME magazine. The LEE Jeans company wants us all to wear jeans on October 3 and donate $5 to "help someone you love fight breast cancer." Check out their sight at deminday.com, but only if you wish. I'm not asking you to participate. (Click the link if only to learn how to fold a dollar bill into the shape of a heart. It's kinda cool.)
It's all about choices. You have yours and I have mine. When they match, it's nice. When they don't, it's about respecting our differences.
P.S. There is not doubt that I benefited from a dollar bill collected by a volunteer somewhere back in time. I'm not ungrateful for all that I've received and been given. And I will continue to help and "pay it forward" in my own way.
{End of post}
Fine!
That's what Mike Lowell is getting ready to say in this photo.
"Fine!"
Perhaps the Nice Umpire invited Mike out for a beer after the game. Or asked after Mike's wife and family.
Actually, the Nice Umpire has just invited Mike to leave the game after he (the Nice Umpire) made a bad call on a questionable third strike. So Mike was probably saying, "Fine! I'll take you up on that beer. I'll go shower, get changed, and warm up the car so we can get out of the parking lot before the crowd!"
Whatever. I like Mike, and whatever he had to say, it's fine with me.
{End of post. FINE!}
Happy Birthday, Ted
Today is my baby brother Ted's 50th birthday. Which means, among things, that I am over 50. Actually it drives home, quite forcefully, that I'm over 50.
Whatever.
Enjoy, Ted. Have a wonderful birthday.
{end of post}
Monday, July 21, 2008
Back to reality
As usual, all good things must come to an end, and so does my brief get-away to the farm in Maine. It was a fairly splendid trip all around: good friends, good food (including lobster and blueberry ale), a few trinkets from Mexicali Blues, and the opportunity to read a couple of Elmore Leonard novels on the porch. Good stuff to be sure.
There were a couple of incidents worthy of note:
- I was offered the senior citizen discount at a Chinese food buffet. I declined and paid full price.
- I got bagged for jaywalking in the hamlet of Damariscotta. The nice policeman let me off with a verbal but stern warning never to do it again.
- I christened the new stove at the farm by melting a plastic colander in the oven.
{end of post} Read More......
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Outta here
Going to Maine this morning... the farm... Friendship Sloop Society's annual regatta and homecoming in Rockland.
Don't have any fun without me. Don't get into the car with anyone who has been drinking. Feed the cat.
See ya next week!
{end of post}
Monday, July 14, 2008
This is what I did yesterday afternoon
Holloran Country Club, Pool, and Spa. It was wicked good.
{end of post}
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Breakfast with the Sistas
Had breakfast this morning (a three-hour affair) with Tanya and Debbie, my Breast Cancer Sistas. It's a once-every-couple-of-months event that always feels good, from the anticipation of spending time with two wonderful people to actually being together.
Time seems to stand still when we sit down over two coffees, one tea, scrambled eggs, a cheese omelet, and a pair over easy with pancakes (I think we each order the same thing every time!)
It's so easy to talk and share what's in my heart and head to these two remarkable women. They've been where I've been--shared the wonders, the what-if worries, been afraid and brave, intimidated and confident, and most of all, been good friends through a process that at times seemed impossible to comprehend.
Through every conversation they offered me nothing but encouragement and support. They always validate my concerns, never make my fears seem trivial, and I hope that I've always given them the same care and respect.
They are important people in my support network, but I want them for more than their support. I want them in my life for the friendship they give so willingly. When I am with them--even though we share a common bond that each of us would gladly do without--the bond seems distant and unimportant. It's not what defines us. It's just the chance that brought us together.
I wish I had a photo of the three of us to share. Next time, for sure, we'll have that usually grumpy waitress snap a picture.
{end of post}
Note the time on this post....
Dave and I just rolled in from an evening at The Black Rose in Boston. PJ is in bed and sound asleep. That hasn't happened in years.
{end of post}
Friday, July 11, 2008
Benign!
Wonderful news! It's benign! I don't know what I'd have done if the news had been bad.
Biopsy shows pathological scarring, backed up by the mammogram films. Nurse says doc may want to surgically remove that scarring. Not sure what all that means. I'll do some reading and see if I can figure it out. In the mean time. I have an MRI Tuesday as a followup and a date with the doc on July 30 to discuss whatever may be next.
But before then, there's a little celebratory beverage consumption planned for later today.
OK, I gotta go back to work...
{end of post}
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I am invisible
(Stand by, I'm in a mood...)
Invisible! I must be! What other explanation is there as to why on two occasions, and within moments, people stepped in front of me as I waited my turn at Wal-mart earlier this evening?
First at the photo counter. A chick in a little black dress (and huge earrings that had to be cubic zirconia) waltzed around me to stand next in line to pick up photos. She opened her wallet and started digging through receipts and before offered assistance, announced she was there to pick up her photos. Duh. When I lifted my arms as if to say "Huh?" to the clerk, the clerk asked if she could assist me. The chick in the black dress looked over her shoulder and gave me the "Who the f%$# are YOU looking at?" look. I got my photos, politely thanked the nice clerk for first taking care of the person who really was next in line, and went on my way.
Off to the hair accessory aisle to swap something I'd grabbed earlier for something else. There was someone looking through the accessories while blocking the display with her shopping cart. As I waited for her to move, a woman and her daughter blew in, moved the carriage, and proceeded to paw through the merchandise. I was a split second from putting my hand on the woman's shoulder and asking her to wait her turn when I recognized her. She attends my church. Part of me isn't surprised by her rude boldness. She does it well. I hope she reads this.
She and her daughter stood blocking the displays while they debated which item to buy. I finally reached over her head to put back the item I was holding and didn't bother to hang around to find what I wanted. I had all I could to to ignore her husband who stood waiting at the head of the aisle (and looking a tad ignored himself, come to think about it). If I'd spoken it wouldn't have been to say anything polite.
Which leads me to ask myself why I let people who clearly have little to offer by way of gracious behavior (a) treat me that way or (b) push me into such a state of frenzy. None of the irritation is worth the points it scored on my blood pressure reading.
What's better, speaking up when someone is rude, or standing back and allowing them to continue their selfish ways, and worse, instill in their children that it's OK to treat others with so little regard?
There, I feel better already.
{end of post}
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Fun, fun, fun!
What's the most fun you can have AFTER a breast biopsy? Having a mammogram!
"Why is this necessary?" I asked.
"To document we did the procedure and to give you a new baseline," the nice woman said.
Good reasons. Now we wait for results. Pass me an ice pack.
{end of post}
Hot and steamy, and I don't mean me
OMG, it's SO hot and humid and awful outside. How do people live in the tropics? I'd do nothing but be crabby all day.
I'd like to design my own place to live. Put everything I want around me on a huge sliding plate--family and friends, Market Basket and Lucci's, a New Hampshire state liquor store, the gym, the office--(you get the idea), then dial up a new location based on temperature and weather conditions and slide everything around. Need some rain for the plants and grass? Dial it up. Need enough snow to close the office for a day? Return to mid-70's and no humidity the next. Cool enough every evening to sleep under a blanket with the windows open.
Maybe in my next life.
I'm rediscovering the joy of reading books. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? I haven't found time (made time) to read for pleasure in a very long time. It's a personal treat I seem only to provide myself when I'm on vacation in Maine. I'm changing that.
I used to spend my commute to and from work listening to books on tape or CD. I have a list in my wallet that must have 200 titles on it (in 8-point type) of the books and authors I've enjoyed over the years. It would frustrate me to find an author I like and get the same title again and again because I'd forget which books I'd listened to. Hence the list.
I started commuting to the office with a coworker a few months ago (and in May, Dave came to work for my company too), so my on-the-road-to-work listening time went away with $3 gas. I miss my time with Sanford, the Pattersons, Grisham, Woods, and friends.
So, I'm back to reading. It means carving "me" time out of the day, which isn't always easy to do. Dave helped me put a book on CD through the computer and into iPod files recently, I got to enjoy it while on the treadmill at the gym. That's always a possibility.
Today is biopsy day. Just can't wait to get this over with, hear the news and move along. Has to be negative, right?
Please share some love and prayers today with Jan's nephew Matthew.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Aunt Sis
Dave's Aunt Sis died earlier this evening. It's a moment that had been coming for a while now. She battled cancer over the last two years and did the best she could, but in the end that damn disease got the better of her.
She was a character, and I say that in the nicest of ways. She always seemed to be laughing and joking, and as Dave said just a few minutes ago, "we dug at each other." They were always carrying on about something, making it larger than it really was. But they did it with love for one another and that made it fun to watch the two of them go after each other. She faced some tough times through the years and still always had that smile.
Today is the 4th of July, Independence Day. I think it's rather fitting that today is the day she died. She gained her independence over cancer. Unfortunately it takes her away from the people who love her.
We took in a fire works show tonight in Salem (it was spectacular). I couldn't help but smile as I watched, thinking about Sis. I swear I heard her thundering about her new freedom in some of those explosions. And there was a new color I've never seen before in some of the bursts, a soft sage/seafoam green. It had to be a little of her in that new color. It was a happy color, another message. "I'm OK now, don't fret."
Dave is going to miss his Aunt Sis. And I'm going to miss her too.
Wake 4-8 PM Monday, July 7, 2008
Funeral 10 AM Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Both from:
James H. Delaney & Son Funeral Home
48 Common Street
Walpole, Massachusetts 02081
{end of post}
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Another milestone
Just took the blow dryer to my head of curls. It's SO DAMN HOT AND HUMID that I can't stand it. PJ and I walked around the lake in Wakefield earlier and the consensus was that I needed (badly) to take a shower.
So now there's a thunderstorm percolating just to the south and it's pretty steamy. There isn't much worse that a wet head of hair when the humidity is off the charts.
I did the only logical thing, I grabbed the blow dryer and had at my hair. First time in, hell, I don't know, almost 9 months? My hair came out in October. Not only did I dry it, I brushed and blew out the curls. So it's straight! But remember, it's humid. It won't last!
Time to shut down and get away from the electrical outlets. I'm a chicken in a thunder storm!
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