Happy Leap Year Day

I called our dear friend Dot Hoyt to wish her a happy birthday. She's 22 today (that's 88 in our years). She's quite a lady and it was lovely to spend a few minutes with her on the phone. I hope I have that same positive attitude when I'm 22.

Today marks the end of a ridiculously long week at work. Problems at every turn. To make matter worse, I loaded a thumb drive with tons of files so I could work at home tomorrow (a necessary evil since I'm taking next Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off), and LEFT THE THUMB DRIVE IN THE COMPUTER AT THE OFFICE. I know, I know, writing in all caps is like shouting, but I AM SHOUTING, you can be very be sure of that.

The only bright spot in the work week was making a carpool arrangement with my coworker Owen MacDonald. He's a hell of a good guy and makes going to and coming from Marblehead a little more tolerable.



So here I sit with my second very tall strawberry/kiwi water with raspberry Absolut (my kiddo makes a nice cocktail), and a couple of Caramel DeLites Girl Scout cookies. What a combination. I'll be a wreck in the morning.

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The big wind

My friend Lorna called after dinner this evening. She lives in Georgia and got sent home early from work today. Seems that while she and her coworkers were out to lunch, the building they work in got smashed up when it was hit by a tree that was ripped up by a TORNADO.

Can't work in the building if the building has been busted up by dear old Mother Nature. Yikes! Good freaking Lord and holy crap, huh?

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Feeling the love

I am filled with "feeling the love" this afternoon. I was the worship leader this morning at church (Wilmington United Methodist) and back in the company of people who drove a whole lot of love and prayers in my direction when I was on the D.L.

I admit that my relationship with the good folks at WUMC can best be described as "occasionally in attendance but always in a corner of my heart." That usually happens when I get a periodic call asking if I'd like to be worship leader. Admitting again, it's something I enjoy doing.

Going to church usually fills me up with a good feeling and I drive home thinking that, since it feels so good, I should go more often. Then the next Sunday rolls around and there's something on the docket that calls me in another direction (next Sunday is already flagged for breakfast with B.C. sistas).

It's about deciding what is really important and making a commitment. I don't think that making an occasional commitment to something is a bad thing. Some might say it's better than making no commitment at all. I go through phases where I want to do something noble like save the world from itself, and then realize that there is something in the bottom of the hamper that I pass over every time I do a load of laundry. I have tons of good intentions and a long way to go to improve on my follow up.

So what does all this mean? Who really knows. Take from it what you will. What I'm taking from it is that I need to pay it forward. I've been the recipient of uncountable prayers and kindnesses. Someone told me this morning that she passed my name and situation on to her family who live in Washington and that I was on their church's prayer list throughout my illness. I remember how good I felt every time I opened the mailbox and found yet another card from one of the good people of WUMC, sending a simple message of hope and love.

Someone in your circle of acquaintances needs a word of encouragement. The reason isn't important, but what is important is how to react to their need. Make a phone call. Send a card. If you are so inclined, of means, or so talented, offer them a ride or a casserole. You don't have to assume responsibility for every aspect of their well-being. You only need to show them the kindness and friendship you'd like them to show to you.

The other news of the day is that it's my dad's birthday. He'd be 78 today. Ironic, perhaps, that this morning's opening hymn was "Amazing Grace?" I don't think it was a coincidence. All that was missing was a bagpiper.

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Sick of the snow

Another storm, another 7 inches of snow (and it's still coming down). Dave has been out to shovel four times since I got home at 3:30. This winter has been beyond crazy with snow. At least it's February 22 and it won't last for three or four months. We hope.

My mother, in southern Maine, still has thee feet of snow in her front yard and says that as of the last storm, they'd had 90 inches of snow this winter. Enough is enough, I say.

Soon enough, though, we'll probably be bitching about the heat and humidity. You can't win. Maybe it's time to move to San Diego.

The grill (under cover) on the deck.

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Be your own advocate

Heard from a friend today with a little one who has been quite ill. Take a look at what the poor kid has gone through:

She received a bad diagnosis on pneumonia: 4 days, 4 different doctors, 6 visits, and no one picked up on it. They finally went to ER and she was admitted due to dangerously low potassium levels and near cardiac arrest. She spent 5 days in the Pedi ward, but is now home. Her mom reports she is slowly starting to look like a normal child.

Good Lord, what a terrible mess. Fortunately this story ends well. But there's a lesson to be learned.

Be your own advocate. If you're not happy with the care and/or attention you receive, kick up a fuss and make sure you are taken seriously. If this mom hadn't pressed on looking for answers for her child, there's no telling what might have happened.

Here's more good advice: take someone with you when you have a significant appointment, particularly if you need to discuss a diagnosis, test results, treatment plans, and the like. It's not easy to hear everything, even when you really think you're listening to what's being said.

That's today's lesson.

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And now, a word from my new sponsor

I hate infomercials, but there's one that holds me spellbound every time I see it. It's the one for the "Bare Minerals" makeup line. Ever seen it?

I've been fussing with different makeup lines for years and never found anything I liked. I haven't find anything that covers the inconsistencies in my skin tone, or that stays on longer than what seems like moments.

PJ and I headed to the Sephora store at the mall (what a place!), and I had a makeover using the Bare Minerals line. It's now going on six hours later and I still look (if I may say so) marvelous!

So go check it out. It's a little pricey to get started but you'll love it.

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Today's big purchase

It's been a busy shopping day, from Home Depot to WalMart. We've got some projects that have been on hold for far too long, and today was the day to set out with tape measure, take lots of notes, and start making real plans to move ahead.

The bathroom is going to get a major face lift and we're look for a storage cabinet for the kitchen. PJ is finally getting around to painting her bedroom (something she's been wanting to do for a couple of years). She picked great colors, bought new curtains, and it'll look like a who new place in a few short hours.

By far the most exciting purchase of the day was the Pantene Pro-V "Silver Expressions" Daily Color-Enhancing Shampoo. It's another milestone moment--something as simple as buying shampoo gave me quite a rush. It was a bit expensive, but I'm worth it.

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Aromasin

Eight letters, four syllables, pronounced just the way it looks. A-rom-a-sin.

What is it, you ask?

Aromasin is a hormonal therapy for women who have had estrogen-receptor positive early stage breast cancer and have gone through menopause. That would be me. Artomasin officially became part of my life this evening. It's Day One of our five-year relationship.

Yea, five years, assuming I can tolerate the side effects. Check out the percent of women who complained about:
Hot flashes: 21.2%
Fatigue: 16.1%
Joint pain 14.6%
Headache 13.1%
Insomnia 12.4%
Increased sweating: 11.8%

Interesting. Fatigue and insomnia. Hot flashes and increased sweating.

Personally, I'm psyched to see what happens. Not.

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Saturday morning musings

So, I've got this absolutely miserable cold, my sinuses are clogged beyond recognition and my chest is layered with what feels like cement. In short, it's not fun, but I'm not complaining because--it's better than having chemotherapy!

I miss reading a daily newspaper by hand. I scan the headlines of four or five major newspapers each day online, but there's nothing like sitting down with the paper, going through it page by page, and--best of all--having to get up when you're done and wash the ink off your hands. I am my father's child.

I got a very nice surprise yesterday. My company was sold earlier this week (it's all good, from one financial holding company to another, nothing changes that I will see). Part of the sale included offering bonuses to employees whose term of service meets certain criteria. I'm spending part of my bonus on a plane ticket to Switzerland. My friend Laura moved there a few years ago to be with her beloved Monica, and they've extended countless invitations for me to come and visit. The timing was never right.

If I learned only one lesson from my breast cancer experience, it's that the timing is rarely right for whatever it is that you need or want to do. My advice isn't that you develop a frivolous attitude, but that you take advantage of opportunities that present themselves or take steps to make opportunities happen. Sometimes you need to be brave and have enough confidence in yourself to take a chance. It may be something as simple as telling someone that you love them, or thanking someone for their kindness. Don't be sorry you didn't make an effort.

So, I'm ticket shopping. I'm not bound to specific dates--I'm hoping for sometime in April or May. I'll keep you posted!

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An exciting milestone

Today is the day I get to set aside my "Tom's of Maine Unscented, All-Natural" deodorant stick and embrace my dear friend, "Degree Shower Clean Anti-Perspirant and Deodorant" (invisible solid and body responsive, no less!). Yea, I'm back to applying chemicals to my body.

That's applying chemicals both inside and out. Today is also the day I start taking the drug therapy Aromasin.

Funny thing is, that for as much as a whined and crabbed about it, the "Tom's" served me well (at least no one gave me negative feedback). Maybe I'll stick with Tom.

As to the drugs, I may wait a day or two. I've got the nasty-ass flu bug that's been driving through my office. Don't let me kiss you.

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My weekend hours in front of the tube

I spent the better part of today absolutely spellbound by several episodes of the HBO mini-series “Band of Brothers,” which played this weekend on The History Channel. If you’ve never seen it, I can’t urge strongly enough that you search it out. Rent it if you have to.

It’s the 10-part Tom Hanks-Steven Spielberg series about “E” Company of the 506th infantry regiment of the 101st Airborne Division, from their days in basic training to Normandy and beyond until the end of World War II. As I watched I thought of men I’ve met who fought in World War II, like Leo Grillo and Ernie Doucette, and how they, years younger than my daughter is now, fought to liberate Europe.
I wrote a 13-part series about World War II veterans back in my days as a reporter with the Eagle Tribune (in fact it won a New England Press Association award in 2000 for history reporting). I was so proud of that series because of the amazing people that writing it allowed me to have the honor to meet. I learned more from the 12 men and one woman I interviewed than I even learned in a history class or from reading a book.
In many cases, they had not told their personal stories to their families. Again and again, as we talked about their experiences, family members present during the interview said things like, "You never told me that," or, "I had no idea..."
Are you lucky enough to know someone who served during World War II (or another war or conflict)? Ask about their service. Plan a trip to Washington D.C. and visit the World War II memorial. It will take your breath away and there's no doubt you'll meet someone there who served.
OK, off the soap box. But seriously, when you can, thank a veteran. And rent "Band of Brothers."

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This working for a living is tough stuff

At 5 p.m. today I completed my first 40-hour work weeks since sometime in early September of last year. While I can't say it was any fun having chemo or radiation (which was better than chemo, if you have to have some form of treatment), what WAS fun was not working but getting paid for 40 hours.

For the six weeks I was in radiation, I got used to buzzing out of the office each day at 2:30 and being home between 4:30 and 5:00 and in plenty of time to make dinner (or pretend to). I managed the full-time paycheck throughout my treatments because I'd accumulated a lot of vacation time and burned through that rather than take the pay "cut." Not the best way to spend vacation time, but another reason to look at the entire experience and consider myself lucky.

Life continues to return to a more normal pattern, and that's a good thing. We're still contemplating a real vacation and trying to decide where we'd like to go. Of course, as soon as the weather is right, the front porch at the farm will be calling my name.

Today I presented with the opportunity to travel for the company, to Las Vegas in late April for a conference. It's one of those places that I'll be happy to go to again. Dave and I were there in 2005 (again for a work conference) and had a great time. Can't beat such a trip when the company pays for my meals, my airline ticket, and the hotel room.

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Wicked huge hair moment

Hey--take a look at the photo! That's a barrette in MY HAIR! Isn't that absolutely exciting as hell?


Soon enough there will be enough to braid!

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My amazing daughter

The phone rang a little while ago--it was PJ calling from the road (she's out this evening with friends). She and I spent the afternoon prowling the mall in search of bargains and essentials. She called to tell me how happy she was to have spent the afternoon with me this way.

"I feel like I have my mom back," she told me.

That right there is why I did all that fighting.

"I would have told you before I went out but you were sitting with your girlfriend, having a drink, and chatting away. I didn't want to interrupt." How could anything she has to say to me ever be an interruption? She just amazes me and she makes me feel so special and so loved.

My friend Tanya visited tonight (that's the friend PJ referred to in her call). Tanya and I had a great evening, talking about our respective battles and our next steps (drugs, follow-ups appointments and such). She's been invited to take part in a multi-year study of breast cancer in younger women (she's only 35...) and I'm proud that she's going to give of herself to help others in this way.

What a great day.

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