Turning "one of those days" into something better

I haven’t had an “I’m feeling sorry for myself” day in a while, to today was it. I felt myself sliding in that direction and try to stop. I pull up all the images that usually remind me of how lucky I am, but none of them worked today. I needed to have a good cry, and did.

Today was about feeling unattractive and discardable (I don’t care if that’s not a real word, it’s my blog). When I get like this Dave is sweet to remind me that I’m one of his best girls and after a while, that helps get me over the moment. He gives me every indication that he’s rock steady through all of this. If he’s not, he hides it well. Some days I feel like I take terrible advantage of him and PJ, particularly when I’m having one of those days and want noting more than to indulge myself in my own misery.

Eventually today turned into a chance to look ahead and make plans. I’m itchy to plan a party and celebrate my good fortune, but it’s going to be a little longer before I can really move on it. I need a schedule for radiation treatments to know when they’ll be completed. The location I want for such a fest is the Hartshorne House in Wakefield, and it isn’t available after then end of October. I’m not sure I want to wait until the spring. I’ll be able to take a closer look at that after my appointment with Dr. Nath on Wednesday.

I’m also pondering what I can do to get involved in breast cancer community service. It seems like the right thing to do, it will be a matter of finding the right outlet. Some efforts are done by many (three-days walks and the like) and are fiscally successful. That's terrific, but I'd rather find something little-known and try to give that a boost. So I'm looking. Do you have any ideas?

I’ve been so pleased with the care I’m receiving from the teams at Winchester Hospital. PJ found that the hospital sponsors ‘A Caring Place,’ a resource for wigs, prosthetics, and head coverings for cancer patients. It’s open on a by-appointment basis, and is in the same location as Dr. Nath’s office. The best thing is that they offer gift certificates, and I wonder if I can mount an effort to purchase certificates that could be turned over to people in the community who might not have the means to buy the items they need. That will yield an immediate result--help for someone who needs it right now.

We went to a party today for Shelley Sgrulloni, a belated gradation party before she heads off to college (cling peaches... stay with me, this will cycle back to make sense). There were a number of people there from church and I had long talks with a few, including Ginny Hipple. Once again, the concern and kindness are wonderful reminders of the friendship I’ve found at WUMC and of how good it feels to go on Sundays and be part of the congregation. I should go more often.

Anyway, Ginny told me that there is talk about starting up the church cancer support group once again (it became inactive as the need fell away). I offered my support (ha! support for a support group!), and offered myself as a resource or sounding board for anyone in a similar situation.

Plenty to think about, plenty of reasons to feel positive. Maybe having a bad day sparks a better ending.