The DCIS Diary

I have breast cancer.

For years I’ve anticipated I would say those words, and the time has come. Lucky for me (I hope) it’s early in the game and I’ll be a winner.

I got my diagnosis by phone from my doctor two days ago. Dr. Nath was on vacation

out-of-state but insisted he would call with whatever news there was to share. I couldn’t figure out why he offered to call personally from his vacation (a professional courtesy to my husband, with whom he worked 25 years earlier; his personal investment in his patients; he knew he’d have bad news and didn’t want me to have to wait). It doesn’t really matter now—he called and I know. I didn’t have to wait another 6 days (to June 27) for the consultation he scheduled in follow up to my second biopsy.

I was sitting at my desk at work in the last moments of the day when the phone rang. He’d just spoken to my husband (who was at home) and at Dave’s suggestion, Dr. Nath told me, “Get up and close the door to your office.” I knew in an instant the results weren’t positive.

I didn’t hear a lot of what he told me and had to ask him to repeat several things. The diagnosis in DCIS, ductal carcinoma in situ, which is an early stage cancer limited to ducts. “In situ” means contained, and he is hopeful it is in fact contained, but is having a few additional tests run (“stains,” he called them) to be certain there hasn’t been a “micro invasion.” I’ll know when I see him on Wednesday.

For the moment I’m in a holding pattern. Dr. Nath’s suggestion is further surgery to be sure everything is removed, to be followed by a round of radiation therapy. I need to hear everything he has to say on the 27th and then make some decisions.

Do I stay in Dr. Nath’s care and take treatment through Winchester Hospital? Do I take my records and go to a Boston cancer center such as Dana Farber? My primary care physician says that for what I have, Winchester is a good place. She’d encourage Boston is this were more advanced or a “funky” (in her words) cancer situation. I’ll decide when I have more information.

Telling people about this is a mixed bag. Some people need to know—family, some friends, coworkers. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, just not comfortable telling everyone I know.

I did most of the sharing by phone, including—to my dismay—my mother. She was three hours away at the family home in Maine. I called and tried to invite myself to visit the following day, but she balked and told me not to waste a vacation day. She was trying to be nice. I had to hang up, collect myself, and call her back. Wasn’t easy. I know she heard far less than I’d heard when I spoke to Dr. Nath. We split the distance (she came back to her home in southern Maine) and I drove to see her today, armed with Internet printouts and fact sheets. She’s in better spirits now.

Dave and PJ are my two primary concerns. They will be the ones who have to live with me and this every day. Both are smart, will take an interest and be completely supportive. Still, it’s hard to handle these kinds of things when the patient is someone you love.

We’ll find our way, and we’ll win.

Next time: The journey to this point