I took a friend to her chemotherapy appointment yesterday.
It was strange to go back into a chemo center. It's a place that's highly sensory: the smells, sights, and sounds came back to me like I'd been there the day before. If you watch and really pay attention you can feel the seriousness that's bubbling just below the surface.
Chemo is a place you go to hold off dying for a while, and if you're lucky, you make that while a long one. People smile and speak in hopeful tones but if you watch them carefully enough, you see it as a kind of trained response. It's their job to get the poison into your system and it's their job to make you believe it's going to make a difference.
I thought I got out of it without any scars, but last night, when Dave told me he was proud of me for what I'd done, I burst into tears and had a good cry. I don't ever want to go back into one of those places, but if I have to, I will.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
It was harder than I though it would be
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2 comments:
Hooray for you for facing your fears to stand beside a friend in her time of need. I know you mean it when you say you don't want to go back, but if someone needs you, I also know you will be right beside them if you're needed.
Love to all those who go back because only they can truly know what it's like for the person on the receiving end of those treatments.
Love to you from your friends here in Maine. Keep up the courage.
Carol Jones and Co.
Penny, I am so proud of you for being there with your friend, even though it was tough being in there, knowing what you know from the experience. These are the moments which define our angel wings. HUGS!
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