I had breakfast with The Sisters this morning. Tanya surprised Debbie and me very special picture of the three of us (photos from our previous breakfast last fall).
We're just a trio of kick-ass breast cancer survivors. I think we all got past it enough to be OK with the word "Survivor". For a while, we all hated it. It's hard to explain why. If you've been there, perhaps you know. Cancer overtakes you and makes a place in every aspect of your life. It is how you are identified. It is what everyone thinks of first when they think of you. It is the subject that begins every conversation. Or so it seems. You have to remind people that there is more to you than that battle. It's part of what you are, not everything.
You need to get past it, away from it. Then you can look back at it and be a little more OK with where you've been. At least that's how it was for me. It's good to be just me again.
Look as us. It wouldn't DARE come back.
{end of post}
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Sisters
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday's list of things to do
- Log on to take an online anatomy and physiology course, then
- Take the online medical terminology course
- Take the five-hour practice test for the five-hour certification exam that I have to take on Friday to (hopefully) earn my certified professional coder credential
- And then, study, study, study!
I'll see you on the other side!
Read More......
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Good news, everybody!
(I need an audio clip of "Futurama" Professor Farnsworth to say that for me.)
Had a diagnostic mammogram this morning... it was NEGATIVE. I followed that with a six-month check in with my surgeon, and he says everything looks great. I don't need to see him again until August. I see the oncologist and radiologist in the next few weeks for similar,periodic check ins, and anticipate nothing but more good reports.
And the good news continues.... Dave was diagnosed a diabetic three weeks ago. What a shock and a blow and a heart breaker for him. But in this short span of time, though, his blood sugar down from 259 (awful) to 138 (nearing normal), he's changed his eating habits (had made friends with salads and oatmeal), and is feeling a whole lot better than he had been (he'd been complaining of fatigue, poor sleep, constant thirst, among other things—all symptoms we didn't think to tie to diabetes).
So he's on his way to getting this under control. It's along road, we know. It's not going to disappear in a matter of weeks, we know. While he's missing things like Chinese food and ice cream, he knows those things will come back, in moderation, some day soon.
So, it's been good news all around today. OK, we had snow and sleet and that sucks big time, but the rest of the day has been sunny and bright.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Dad
My dad died 14 years ago today and, as chance would have it, at just about this time of day.
I've missed him terribly through the years. He missed a lot of wonderful moments in our lives (the adventures, the accomplishments, watching his granddaughter grow into a beautiful young woman) and missed some moments that I'm frankly glad to know he wasn't around to witness (my breast cancer is the first thing that comes to mind).
Whatever. Good moments or bad, we can't have him back.
One of the hardest things about losing him was that point in time when it became normal that he was no longer here. That moment was a shock and it hurt almost as much as losing him.
So, I'm thinking about him today, as I do most days. I still miss him and I'd have liked nothing more today than to have laughed with him over something. I'll just go ahead an laugh and pretend he's laughing with me.
Here's a photo of me and my dad, taken in about 1990 at the farm in Nobleboro, ME. It's one of my very favorites because of the look on his face. That look told me that he loved me and it was enough for me just to see it.
{end of post}
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Christmas pictures
Finally got some Christmas Day photos from my brother in law:
My Mother with Her Children
Me and Dave and PJ (I love my t-shirt, a gift last year from my brother at my height of baldness... "Life is Crap" with the character tangled in the holiday lights...!)
PJ and her Uncle Ted and Aunt Kelly
Me with my Sibs
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Looking for prayers and good wishes
Do I give you too much sad/bad news? If so, you can be honest with me. I'll take it all into consideration. But first we need to talk about Gail.
Again, not the Gail of Chuck and Gail, my other Gail. I told you a little bit ago that she'd had surgery for a brain tumor. I got more news about her situation today.
She is having another surgery tomorrow, in an attempt to remove more of the tumor. Then they will attack with daily chemo and radiation for six weeks, then put her onto an oral chemo for up to a year.
The journey to this point took them to neuro-oncologhy appointments at Duke Medical at the university in North Carolina and to Sloan Kettering in New York before they decided to place themselves in the hands of the staff at Brigham and Women's and Dana Farber here in Boston. It presents itself with the promise of being a log, hard journey.
I am overwhelmed with sadness at the dire description of what is coming for Gail and her family. I can only hope and pray they they are all in the best possible hands.
I don't know what else to do at this moment but pray. I hope you have one you can share with me, for Gail and her husband Roger, her children Anne and Colin and her new granddaughter Francesca. Bless them, every one of them.
Thank you.
{end of post}
Saturday, November 8, 2008
It was harder than I though it would be
I took a friend to her chemotherapy appointment yesterday.
It was strange to go back into a chemo center. It's a place that's highly sensory: the smells, sights, and sounds came back to me like I'd been there the day before. If you watch and really pay attention you can feel the seriousness that's bubbling just below the surface.
Chemo is a place you go to hold off dying for a while, and if you're lucky, you make that while a long one. People smile and speak in hopeful tones but if you watch them carefully enough, you see it as a kind of trained response. It's their job to get the poison into your system and it's their job to make you believe it's going to make a difference.
I thought I got out of it without any scars, but last night, when Dave told me he was proud of me for what I'd done, I burst into tears and had a good cry. I don't ever want to go back into one of those places, but if I have to, I will.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A mini sermon for your Sunday
I've sent you to PeaceBang's blog before, and I'm going to send you there again. Find five quiet minutes and read her blog entry dated Saturday, November 1 and titled "Pastoral Letter to Those Toiling in the Vineyards."
The overall message is written to help souls troubled over the goings on in their spiritual congregations, but it's a strong message about striking a balance and getting along with people who have a different point of view.
It's PeaceBang's usual, powerful stuff and you should read it.
Go.
Friday, October 31, 2008
The real fright this Halloween
Cancer is knocking in threes today.
ONE
I'm putting out a call for prayers, for Gail (not the Gail of "Chuck and Gail" fame, another Gail). She is recovering from recent surgery for a brain tumor and starting the long journey of exploration and decision about how to move forward with her treatment. Please find a little place in your heart and carry her there.
TWO
I'll head back an oncology center week from today when I accompany my friend Susan for her chemotherapy session. She's having a damn nasty time with her treatment for her second round with the devil. I offered to go an hold her good hand during a treatment and she opted for next Friday. I told her that if she's very good I'll take her roller skating when her treatment is done. Hey, you have to go forward with a little levity and a smile. If you don't all you can do is weep and that gets real old real fast.
THREE
It's Halloween, my late father's favorite holiday (I swear). He found such joy answering the door and chattering with all of the bell ringers. He feigned fright at the monsters and melted a little for the princesses. He had fun with the night, and I try to do the same. If not for his damned cancer, he'd be around tonight to revel in the excitement. This is one of those days when I miss him most, even after all these years.
So, for Gail and Susan and Bruce... Let's beat the bastard.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Donate a Mammogram
Hey, here's something you can do and it only takes a couple of mouse clicks.
Go to this Web site and click through to donate a mammogram. It's legit and it might save a life. DO it every day... and share the site with everyone in your address book.
Thanks!
